Mentoring is accelerating someone else’s judgment, not doing their tickets. It works when there is a real work item, a feedback loop, and a time box. “Let me know if you have questions” is not mentoring.
What to do
- Sit on a real problem (a failing test, a design, an on-call shadow).
- Ask them to narrate first. Then add the missing model (why this index, why this SLO).
- Review their PR as a teaching artifact: one or two themes, not 40 nits without a priority.
- End with a next rep: they drive the next similar change.
Example
What breaks it: the mentor takes the keyboard and finishes the ticket. The mentee watched a solution appear.
Better: the mentee narrates the failing test first. The review has one theme. The mentee drives the next similar change.
What to avoid
- Taking the keyboard and finishing it “because it is faster.” You just hired a spectator.
- Mentoring only people who already look like you.
- Confusing mentoring with performance management. A mentor is not secretly their boss unless that is explicit.
For the mentee
Bring a specific artifact. Write down the advice and try it before the next meeting. If you only collect opinions, you are networking, not practicing.
See communication and self development.